Mark Wright’s Blog

To say Arthur Price Jr. is having a bad week would be an understatement.  The Ohio native was arrested for allegedly having intimate relations with a picnic table.  Yes ladies and gentlemen, that was not a typo.   The police arrested Price after an anonymous tipster dropped off three DVDs that showed Price in the act. 

The videos show Price tilting the round, metal picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to pitch woo.  Afterwards, the video shows him cleaning the table and the deck.  When questioned by the police, he admitted to making whoopee with the table.  He also admitted bringing the table in his home for a romantic interlude.  Price was charged with four counts of public indecency.  He is currently free on bond. 

I have a few questions about this.  Why did the person record three DVDs before dropping them off to the authorities?  Wouldn’t one have been sufficient?  I’m sure the incident could have been adequately documented with one taping.  I think a trilogy is a bit of overkill.  I am curious to know if this person sat around for days waiting for Price to return to the scene of the crime.  Unless he scheduled his “date” for a specific time, it would involve a lot of down time to tape something that I wouldn’t want to even see once, much less multiple times.

I also found it interesting that Mr. Price allegedly took the picnic table home with him.  Did he feel the need for a bit more privacy?  Did he take the table home so they could have some time alone?  I also found it interesting that they pointed out that he cleaned the table and deck afterwards.  Is that supposed to work in his defense?  “Your honor, I am very aware of the seriousness of the charges levied against my client.  However I would like the record to show that he did clean the table and the deck after his tryst.”

This story has taught me two things.  First, if you are going to participate in any form of deviant behavior, why would you do it out in the open where someone can do something like oh I don’t know, tape it!  The second thing I learned is to not eat off a picnic table ever again.  I’m sure there are alot of people who made the news today that are grateful to Mr. Price.  No matter how bad their day was, they can at least say, “Hey at least I’m not that guy in Ohio who got caught with the picnic table.”